Fiver parties and how I saved my family from an avalanche of birthday plastic

When my son had his fifth birthday party, I made a rookie mistake: I forgot to add a gift instruction on the invitation.

His mum and I planned a simple party: cake, party bags, even pass-the-parcel (Lucky’s dad’s rules). But I didn’t anticipate the number of - albeit generous - plastic gifts his classmates had in store.

It was a small mountain. Shiny wrapping, colourful trucks, dolls, dinos, art craft, aircraft, and books. My son was ecstatic, which was fair. I, on the other hand, felt shocked. 

We have plenty of toys. All the classmates’ families needn’t have spent so much cash on these trinkets. Were we now obligated to do the same for each one of them? Had we just unintentionally started a local arms race, spending precious parent wages on increasingly expensive, intricately wrapped plastic miniatures?

With rising costs of living, some parents dread seeing another party invite for fear of having to buy another present. That’s not surprising given parents are reporting buying birthday presents anywhere from $10 to $100 in value per child. Multiply that by the average class size of 23 students and you can see why parents are on the lookout for a new approach to birthdays.

My son played with some of the gifts, until things inevitably broke. We gave some away. We took some to the charity shop. Our bins were full of wrapping, packaging and broken toys.

Weeks later I found myself in a toy store trying to work out how to stretch a $20 note for a twins’ birthday. ‘It can’t be that hard’, I thought. But somehow I spent over 30 minutes buying pens and stickers. My kids were bored. I was stressed. And I forgot what I was even doing there.

Was I buying happiness for the twins? Or homage to their parents? Or guilt relief for myself? 

That’s when I read about ‘fiver parties’. How simple: bring a fiver instead of a gift. You can spend that much on a card alone. 

Eureka! Now to introduce the idea into my new network of classroom parents without making my son the “weird kid who doesn’t do gifts”.

I didn’t have to wait another year. A dad I spoke to at kids’ soccer training loved it. He put out their invitation the same day. And it was a big success. The classroom kids loved it. The handmade card pile was adorable. The birthday boy bought something really cool that he actually wanted (while practising his newfound financial literacy). He became an active participant in the choice and experience. And the waste was gone.

The next classroom birthday was the same. And the next. Soon it became the norm.

Now my son’s class is onto its third year of fiver parties. Sometimes branching out to “six for six” (dollars/years of age), or “seven for seven”. Kids make a card, stick coins on with sellotape. And the whole community gets a report back on what the birthday boy or girl spends their fortune on.

A couple more low-waste birthday gift instructions you can include in the next invite (courtesy of Jacky Lo at Joy of Giving):

• Pre-loved items: quality lasts. Pass it on. And include a story about why the item is special.
• Experiences instead of products: way more memorable and easier to share. 

There you have it: 

• Quality over quantity. 
• Happy kids. 
• Less pressure on busy parents. 
• And. So. Much. Less. Waste.

Cheers to that!